The Expat Life and Aging Parents: A Quiet Struggle Without Easy Answers

The expat life has given so many of us so much.
We’ve travelled the world, built meaningful careers, learned languages, and raised children who see themselves as global citizens. Our dinner tables are filled with stories of different places, cultures, and adventures — a life of movement and meaning.

And yet, there’s a quieter story running underneath this one — the story of what we’ve left behind.

For many of my clients, this comes into sharp focus when they begin to think about their aging parents. While life abroad has brought countless rewards, it has also meant being absent during moments that matter — birthdays, medical appointments, simple afternoon coffees, or the slow rhythm of a life lived nearby. It’s not only about being there to support our parents, but also about nurturing the bond between grandparents and grandchildren — the shared stories, laughter, and gentle presence that no video call can truly replace.

As the years pass, many begin to realize that time is no longer on their side. There’s a deep yearning not just to visit more often, but to be present — to share in the final chapters of their parents’ lives, and to give back the care they once received.

There’s no easy answer here. The tension between a life of global opportunity and the pull of home is one that can’t simply be “solved.” It’s a deeply human conflict — between duty and desire, between independence and belonging.

What’s striking is that when I ask people, “If you had to make a big sacrifice — step back from your career, change countries, or give up certain comforts — to spend more time with your parents, would you regret it?”
The answer is almost always no.

And yet, they often don’t make the move. Something holds them back — career momentum, children’s schooling, financial realities, or simply the inertia of a life that’s been moving fast for too long. It’s not about a lack of love or commitment, but about the complexity of modern life and the stories we tell ourselves about success and responsibility.

This is where coaching can make a real difference. Because while there may not be a perfect solution, there is the possibility of making deliberate, values-based decisions. When we pause to explore what truly matters — our values, our sense of purpose, and the legacy we want to leave — we begin to see new paths forward.

Sometimes that means designing a gradual transition to live closer to family. Other times it’s about creating meaningful rituals of connection across distance. And for some, it’s also about reconnecting with siblings — not only to share the emotional weight and responsibility of caring for parents, but to rediscover the closeness and shared history that often fades with distance. Being nearer, physically or emotionally, can bring a sense of comfort, understanding, and reconnection during a time that is both tender and fleeting.

Ultimately, the realization that our parents won’t always be here can be a powerful invitation — to slow down, to choose presence over distraction, connection over convenience, and to design a life that balances our independence with our deepest sense of belonging.